Games, Games, Games!

Hello girls and boys guess who's back with his semi-annual blog post! LOL! I know, I know, I really do suke at updating regularly, but hey, it could be worse, I could be a right-wing conservative shit-head political blogger! ThankYEW! I'm here all week, try the Baked Ziti. Now, were was I? What's the title again? Right GAMES! As in video games. I'm currently playing Grand Slam Tennis and Madden NFL 10 for the Nintendo Wii and I'm planning on copping the Wii Sports Resort (more golf holes!) . Madden for the Wii is a completely different animal than it is for the other consoles (XBox 360 & PS3) due to the unique Wii controlling setup. In order to throw the ball in the passing game U actually have to flick your wrist as if U're throwing the ball. U also have to wave the controller in specific situations to juke or swim left or right. It takes a bit of getting used to but it's pretty cool. Here's a picture of the box, buy it!




In other console news, my brother is currently hogging screen time with what is one of the greatest and most cleverly constructed and designed superhero videogames of all time. What game is that, you ask? Why, it's Batman: Arkham Asylum. If you have either of the two BIG polygon pushing consoles (360 or PS3 for all U knuckleheads) do yourself a favor and COP THAT! Dude, I don't even play it, I just like to watch and I'm co-signing this puppy. Fork over that loot and blow some alone-time on that instead of ya sittin with ya mitts in ya pants! Peep the cover...

Sandwich review coming soon, I promise. That, AND... OKTOBERFEST BEERS! I know I said the same thing last year, but one of these days I won't be fibbin!

Hell in a thirty dollar handbasket on a Friday night

So for a couple weeks or so I knew that my buddy was coming back up to NY from Virginia this weekend, so of course, he wanted to hang out. I knew the fellas would all be gettin together to take over some place here in the city. The place that my pal decided on? The Hudson River Café. Wanna see it? Look...


Okay, so where was I? Yeah, Hangin out. So I get there with one of my boys and our buddy from Va is already inside. There's a pretty decent line of chicks and some dudes out front dressed ready to party and to make matters worse, yeah, I've got on sneakers. But dudes are wearing jeans and skechers and all kindsa shit so I figure I'm cool. Then my boy says, 'We should probably check to see what the cover is...' and sure enough, the shit is twenty bucks. Now, I wouldn't be complaining about a twenty dollar cover, but I really was planning to just show up and sit at a bar and have some drinks and hang out, not bump into a full fledged NY Hotspot party night. So my buddy goes in ahead of me and when it's MY turn, after I get frisked and all that fun shit, I get to the cash girl and sure enough, this chick tells me the cover is now THIRTY FUCKIN BUCKS! B-bu-bu-but wait, it gets worse! Since all of my friends are already inside, there's goes thirty bucks. I've NEVER paid thirty bucks to get into ANYplace and I've lived in New York ALL my life! So now I get in there and the music is shit... No, don't blame the music, my bad... The DJ is shit! They're selling mixed drinks in fucking five ounce hard plastic cups... Like so...


Now imagine that shit filled with ice. Then imagine a bartender telling you that you owe her twelve bucks for it. The good news is that they had Guinness on tap in twelve ounce cups for five bucks. So yeah, it was THAT kinda night. Then I start thinking about all kindsa shit that pisses me off even more like the fact that I paid thirty dollars to get INto a party that was OUTside.

BUT, on Sunday I did discover a new brew from Blue Point Brewing Company. If U get a chance, make it a point to check out their Blueberry Ale. It's a wickedly perfect brew. Check it out...




I know, I know, the damned sandwich, man! Imma get to a diner soon, so stay tuned!

Consie's Back, Babay!

Okay. So anyone who knows me knows that I could give a flying tattooed rat's ass about Leno or Letterman. Tho I'll admit, I'm more apt to tune in to Letterman than Jay, my choice of late night flavor has always been Conan O'Brien. I mean, the dude has just got the chops for late night TV and he's been funnier than Leno for years. Jay's had the name recognition and, of course, was handed the reigns by Mr. Late Night himself, Johnny Carson, but everybody knows that Conan's been better than Leno for years now. So when NBC announced that Jay was packing up the show and Conan was moving to both L.A. AND 11:35, well, joy abounded. I won't mention how NBC practically sandbagged Consie and gave Leno a PRIMETIME 10pm slot (not sure if it'll be nightly, but I doubt it) which means Leno will continue to siphon A-list guests from the scarlet pompadour of late night, but suffice it to say, it's good to see Conan back on the air... Even if he did forget to move to Los Angeles until three hours before he was supposed to go on air and had to run across the country. Hey, he made it and my homie is doin his thing at 11:35!

It's Spring Agaaaaiiiiiinnnnnn!

Yeah, it's definitely been a while and yours truly has been quite derelict in his tuna melting duties. This is true and I am shamed beyond recognition. But I'm back and I promise to get back to the business of checking out the tuna melts @ every diner I get the chance to visit. In fact, I will guarantee a review in APRIL! I also intend to get back to the business of checking out the seasonal ales, pilsners and lagers and all that good shit. So now, pledges to do what I will certainly enjoy regardless aside, let's move on.


I had the pleasure of catching HBO's new pilot, The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, a program based on a series of books by the same title. The show stars Jill Scott (her last name is Scott but she can be Mrs. Tuna Melt ANY day) and Anika Noni Rose as the number one ladies in question and the show is a beautifully shot and gleefully acted little slice of life in Botswana. It's so refreshing to see stories taking place in Africa that are not focused on misery and despair. The characters and their lives are displayed plainly, not as something foreign and unusual, but as lives just like your own, simply in a different setting and spoken in an english a lil different than yours. The thing is, you recognize the people, you can identify with them and get involved in their story and that's what makes a show worth watching. By the way, Jill Scott and Anika Noni Rose are the only non-native cast members on this show, but their south African accents are spot-on authentic and Mrs. Tuna Melt, aka Jill Scott is identifying herself as quite a talented actress in her first starring vehicle. Good show, full of humor, liveliness and color, I will certainly be watching more of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. I suggest U do the same and catch this show.

Spring brews and sandwiches coming soon!

Oh yeah, about that sandwich...

Okay. So let me explain my delinquency in sampling sandwiches and updating this blog-o-mine. It all started when I went to Deluxe over on 114th and Broadway. I sat, ordered a tunamelt and a Sam Adams. Guy brings my brew, I'm waiting on my melt when along comes the waiter. Plateless. No diner china in hand. Problem? He didn't realize that tuna melts weren't on the evening menu. That woulda been well and good if he'd told me BEFORE I ordered. Especially since I actually sat and waited til 5 so that the menu could switch over so that I could actualy HAVE the damned tuna melt in the first place. But alas, it was not to be. Since I'd already had brew in hand (and I was quite hungry) I went ahead and ordered a turkey burger and it was good... But it wasn't what I show up at a diner for, dammit! The hostess was quite the cutie with a lovely figure, tho... So that kinda made up for the missing melt. ;o)

So after that I went on a drought for about a month. I know! I couldn't believe it myself! But one Friday night, after hanging out and drinking and partying with some co-workers, we found ourselves at this diner on 17th street at like 2 in the freakin morning. Now, I know I shouldn't have a tuna melt and fries at 2 in the morning, but hey, my blog has been in serious arrears in terms of updates, and I gotta do what I gotta do right? Right. So even tho I don't remember the exact address of the diner or the name, I do remember that they made a pretty damned good open-face tuna-melt sandwich. On rye, a limited choice of cheeses but a choice nonetheless ( I went with the muenster, by the way, excellent choice, do try it), The muenster was nice and melty, didn't burn in any patches and maintained it's cheesey integrity after every bite, as opposed to coming off in one long sheet (never a good sign when that happens!) and the tuna was good on it's own. SO to that diner on 17th street that I can't remember the name, good job! While Cafe Intermezzo's tuna melt remains king of the hill, I give your tuna melt three and a half tomatoes!

p.s. I know summer's at her end and I have yet to produce act two of the summer brew tour, rest assured I HAVE been about the business of sampling summer brews and I WILL get to act two before I move into the Oktoberfest section of my brew tour, so look for that!

Jawja on my mind...

Café Intermezzo @ 1845 Peachtree Road

So yeah, I’m down in Atlanta, Jawja for the nuptials of my beloved niece and I said to myself, ‘Self, you have GOT to see what Jawja’s working with on the tuna-melt side of things.’ So on Thursday night I stopped by a gourmet sub shop by the name of Jimmy John’s but I didn’t get a tuna melt because on the way I saw a nice spot that had a TM on their menu. That spot was Café Intermezzo. Since I was checking out of my dusty motel at around 11 on Friday morning, I figured I’d drop by for a quick bite. The place itself is very nice, good atmosphere, and a 40+ page beverage menu that had it all from coffee to tea, to wine, to beer, to cocktails and beyond. But I didn’t come for all of that fly shit; I came for the sandwich, dammit! Let me tell ya, I knew I was in for a treat when I ordered the TM and the waiter asked me what kinda bread and listed everything from wheat to rye, to croissant to foccacia. Then he asked me what kinda cheese I’d like and ran thru a list that’d make a Wisconsinite blush. I settled on foccacia and smoked gouda. From the list of a thousand beverages I ordered something called a sweet lemon candy, which consisted of vanilla syrup, orange juice, lemon syrup and club soda. It was a pretty nicely put together Italian style soda, not too sweet and not too carbonated. The star of the show arrived and I was instantly smitten. The focaccia was perfectly toasted with what appeared to be thinly sliced tomatoes and onions cooked into the top of the bread with almond shavings as a garnish and a single pickle spear. That’s right true believers, not a single French fry on the plate. Now U may be unaware, but I am a French fry whore, a crack-head for fried potatoes, if U will. And U know what? I did NOT miss ‘em. I’m not gonna mince any words here, folks, this was the single best tuna melt I have ever experienced, bar NONE. The plate was beautiful in its presentation, the tuna alone was excellent (diggin the choice of red onions in the tuna, btw). There’s nothing worse than taking a bite of your sandwich and the cheese sliding right off in a single sheet, but I didn’t have to worry about that here. The melted, smoked gouda behaved perfectly. I advise ANYone who might be visiting Atlanta any time soon to make sure that they get themselves down to Café Intermezzo at 1845 Peachtree Road and pay homage to this masterpiece of a tuna-melt. I have no choice but to give this beauty The Tuna Melt’s highest honor, five fried green tomatoes (since we ARE in the south). New York, I’ll be home next week and somebody’d better show me SOMEthin!

Next Up, Act Two of The Summer Brew Tour.

The New Wave Diner...

So Saturday I went by Filene's Basement to do a lil shoppin for a couple of items and afterward, I happened upon a diner on 78th street and Broadway so I went on in to see what these good folks had for me. I decided to sit at the counter because, hey, I never sit at the counter. So, of course, I order my tuna melt, and they had fountain drinks so I went with the grape. After a bit of waiting my melt arrives and I gotta say, this was the grayest looking creation that had ever been laid before me on diner china. Open-faced on toasted rye with swiss cheese that didn't fully cover the tuna. So some of the tuna gets discolored in the melting process of the sandwich. Just doesn't look sexy. Okay, so moving right along. The swiss cheese. Not a good fit. When swiss melts, as it cools, it separates poorly. U can have teeth like JAWS and it'll be a chore to get a clean bite without pulling all the cheese off like a sheet. As a result U have to place your index finger atop the sandwich at every bite to hold the cheese in place. Call me lazy, but really, should I have to worry about where my queso is gonna go with every bite? I'd like to just enjoy the sandwich! The tuna itself wasn't bad. I'd certainly had worse in my adventures. The fries were really good, but then, I'm a whore for french fried potatoes. My pickles showed up after about 90 percent of my sandwich was gone, but I'll cut the guy at the counter some slack because he was suffering from sunburn. Hey, buddy, that's what happens when U fall asleep on a beach during a heatwave while wearing NO SUNBLOCK. But I'll cut the guy a break cause he seemed pretty flustered back there with arms that looked like they belonged to a hairy lobster. And the grape fountain drink was great! Not too sweet, which is a risk U ALWAYS run with the glorified Kool-Aid®. I would normally have ordered a beer, but the fountain drinks, I was just so surprised to see them that I hadda have one! The funniest thing was, it was bright and sunny when I entered the diner and when I looked out the window about halfway thru my second half, it was POURING! And me with no umbrella. So the sandwich was subpar, but the fries and grape fountain drink were excellent. What are ya gonna do, y'know? On to the next one!

ps: The sandwich my have suffered aesthetically due to the salmonella scare in east coast tomatoes, cause I sure left MINE on the edge of my plate. In honor of the salmonella tomato recall/scare, I shall henceforth rate tuna melts on a tomato scale! Out of 5 tomatoes, New Wave Diner's tuna melt gets two tomatoes (insert tomato graphic here).

Till next time, people, and stay tuned for Act Two of The Summer Brew tour!